Who should pay for the baby shower?
A baby shower is meant to be a special and joyous celebration of a growing family!
But… let’s be real, it can also be a large financial commitment and a significant undertaking for the party planner.
If you have a baby shower coming up (whether you’re the host or the parent-to-be), read below to see some tips on how to navigate discussing the financial elements of a baby shower.
Need advice? Take a quick quiz or read on for more key details to consider!
Let’s start with the basics: who pays for a baby shower?
Turns out, this isn’t so basic! There’s not one set answer to this question. Traditionally, the host pays for the shower. A baby shower host is most often a friend or family member — this could be a best friend, an aunt or cousin, a coworker, or even a grandmother-to-be (although this used to be less common, we say “why not?”).
For the past few decades, the standard was for the host to pay for the shower and for guests to contribute gifts. But in modern times, crowdfunding has become another popular option where a group of guests opt to gather together and help cover some of the costs.
Overall, there are a few common options for who pays for a baby shower. It could be the host, the parent-to-be, the grandparents-to-be, or a group of guests that pool together.
So, that’s the general answer, but let’s get into why you’re really here.
If you’re the guest of honor, we’re answering a few common questions below!
If you’re hosting a shower for someone else, skip to the next section here.
Who should pay for your shower?
To start, try taking the quiz at the top of this page for a quick answer based on the details of your event.
We’ll also break down a few things to consider when deciding who will cover your baby shower.
#1: Has your host already offered to pay?
If your host has indicated that they would like to cover the shower, you are absolutely free to accept that! You already have a whole lot on your plate when you’re expecting, after all.
We recommend being clear from the start about how elaborate you are hoping the shower will be, so that nobody commits to paying for something that will end up stretching their wallet.
#2: How big will your event be and how many specific details do you expect?
If you have a very specific vision that involves potentially high-ticket items like a large balloon arch, specialty party favors, or lots of flowers, it’s important to be transparent so that your host doesn’t commit to something they can’t reasonably afford.
#3: Is there anyone else who could contribute?
A baby shower is such a special celebration, you may have more loved ones in your life who want to get involved! Consider if you have any parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, or close family friends who would be willing to contribute to the celebration. This is a great way to take financial pressure off of the host! If asking family isn’t quite the right fit for you, you can also consider asking guests or other friends to chip in (just make sure to let them know that contributing to your shower would be their gift, and they shouldn’t feel any obligation to get you a gift or something from your registry on top of that!).
If you’re the host, here are a few key things to consider.
Hosting someone’s baby shower is such a thoughtful gesture! But, it’s no secret that the costs can start to pile up for this kind of celebration. If you’ve got budget on the mind, take a look below at a few common questions and how to address them.
So, am I supposed to pay for the whole event?
While it was once traditional for the host to cover a baby shower, times change and expectations do, too! If you’re not sure what the payment plan is for the event, start with an honest conversation with the guest of honor. If covering the cost of the shower will be a stretch for you, it’s totally normal to ask for a quick chat to discuss the logistics of the event. In fact, it’s good to have an open conversation regardless of if budget is an item on the agenda or not! Sitting down with the guest of honor helps you get clear on their vision or expectations, and creates space for you to communicate if you need support in covering some or all of the elements at the shower. Use this time to express how honored you are to be hosting this event for a major moment in their life, and to be clear about what you can afford for the shower. This shouldn’t break the bank for you!
Can I ask others to help me cover the shower?
These days, there are lots of options when it comes to covering a shower. You can split the shower between a few people, or even consider a crowdfunding option! In this economy, it is totally fair game to consider asking for guest contributions to help bring your baby shower to life. If you go with an optional guest contribution, consider suggesting this in lieu of gifts for some guests who may not be able to afford both. Hosting a shower is already an amazing contribution, so don’t be afraid to ask other friends, family members, or guests to help pool together to make it happen!
So maybe you’re thinking sure, this is best case scenario advice… but how are real people actually handling this situation?? We asked around and here’s what people said:
- “For my shower, it was a group effort! My sisters did not contribute financially, but put in work helping with everything.” - Kirra
- “Real talk. If the person having a baby is richer than you, they should contribute. Especially if they want to incorporate elements that wouldn't normally fit in your budget (ie: expensive favors).” - Mariana
- “I think both sides of the family should help contribute. And if the new parents don't have a big family, or their parents aren't around, friends could also help. It's so personal and different for everyone but I like an ‘it takes a village’ approach.” - Salpy
- “My take is… if the hosts are paying for the shower, they should not feel obligated to also send a gift—the shower is the gift!” - Julia
At the end of the day, here are a few guidelines to consider:
Don’t be afraid to have honest conversations.
We know money discussions can feel awkward. But, odds are, if someone is hosting your baby shower, you are close enough to be able to talk openly about this sort of thing! Be transparent about your expectations, leave space for the host to express their personal situation, and make sure to show how grateful you are that they are helping you with this event in the first place!
Everyone loves a money-saving hack.
Whether you’re going all out on catering or planning some intricate decor, there’s always a way to stretch your dollar. Try sourcing flowers from Trader Joe’s (life hack: you can pre-order them at your local store) or filling balloons yourself and sticking them to the ceiling instead of buying a fancy balloon display. Think of your dream elements and then consider ways you can scale them to be feasible for your budget.
Remember what it's all about.
At the end of the day, a baby shower is a way of welcoming your little one into the world, and celebrating your journey as a parent-to-be. The most special details and the moments you remember most are often the ones that are entirely free! Time with family, a thoughtful note, or helpful parent advice will be what sticks with you long after the event is over. Oh, and photos. Make sure you take some photos!
Do you have thoughts on who should pay for a baby shower? Leave a comment here with your advice or experience.
