How to avoid family drama during the holidays

Outside, a gentle snow falls. Inside, the fireplace cracks and bathes the room in a warm glow. Presents overflow under the Christmas tree. The scent of hot cocoa fills the air. The vibes are absolutely perfect—but what’s that? Oh no, Uncle George is asking your sister if she’s going to find a boyfriend any time soon. This could be bad. This could be very, very bad…

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But it won’t be bad! Why? Because we’ve put together a list of tips to help you reduce the chances of family drama at your holiday dinner this year. You are oh, so very welcome. 

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🎅🏻 Plan ahead, and plan smart

The key to any successful party really lies in the planning. If you’re hosting the family dinner this year, you may be stressing a little about making sure everyone has a happy holiday. 

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First things first: remember that you have no control over other people’s emotions. Exhale and release that. As a host, however, you do have the ability to control the environment and foresee potential issues long before they flare up. 

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• Prep more food & drinks than you think you’ll need. You may even want to course out dishes early, starting with small bites upon arrival, to make sure everyone is consistently well fed. No hangry outbursts here! 
• No financial surprises. Guests should know up front if they will be expected to chip in to the celebrations. 
• Place seating cards to reduce seating drama. For extra consideration, ask people who they want to sit next to in advance and make sure they are seated next to at least one person on their list.
• Give people clear-cut responsibilities. Some guests thrive off being helpful, others just like to hang out in the kitchen. Take something off your busy plate and give them something to do in one go—it’s a win-win! Btw, if you want guests to contribute anything specific, you definitely want to check out our free SignUp Sheets. It’s the easiest way to coordinate contributions, in our humble opinion!
• Be prepared with conversation starters. There are lots of icebreaker games out there that are packed with great topics to discuss amongst family and friends. Speaking of games…  

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🎅🏻 Organize festive games and activities

If everyone’s sitting around bored all day, people are more likely to get grumpy. Give them something to do, and you’re creating an opportunity for focused conversation and bonding (and staying away from tough topics). 

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Some games and activities we like include: 

• Cookie decorating 
• Competitive minute-to-win-it style games 
• The Chameleon
• Quiplash
• Telestrations 
• Heads Up
• An all-ages coloring station with holiday coloring pages

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🎅🏻 Pick a buddy 

Find an ally at the party that you trust and can vent to, should small annoyances arise (we get it, it happens). You could even prepare a safe word or phrase, to subtly indicate to your person that you need to go talk something out in private. 

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🎅🏻 Be a thoughtful guest  

Your host has put a lot of effort into throwing this party. Keep their spirits up by:

1. Being helpful, like bringing your own dishes to the kitchen
2. Showing gratitude (not just for your host, but for fellow guests as well!)
3. Bringing the host a small gift (we love a good scented candle) 
4. Offering to bring a dish, drinks, or coordinate an activity
   
   

🎅🏻 R-E-S-P-E-C-T

The holidays are such a beautiful and rare opportunity to gather all of the people you love in one room. While there can be a lot of different personalities present, we think that remembering the basic rule of respect is always a winner when it comes to large group dynamics. Center empathy and kindness in your dealings with everyone, and the likelihood of a pleasant experience goes way, way up. 

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As a general rule, we recommend staying away from these topics: 

• Other people’s appearances
• Other people’s relationship or job status
• Whether anyone is planning to have kids/is pregnant/doesn’t want kids
• Personal or political topics you know are a trigger point for someone else at the table

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Keep it surface level if you have to. Not sure where to start? We’ve got a blog for that.

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🎅🏻 Carve out solo time 

Last but not least, don’t be afraid to take a You Moment™️ and step away from the party briefly if you need to. Pay attention to your body and notice if you’re getting stressed out, and take that solo walk to clear your head. 

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Now, breathe easy and go get merry!