The dos and don’ts of seeing an ex at a party
So… you've just found out you're about to run into your ex at a party. First of all, our condolences. Second of all, don’t panic! Look, no one ever really wants to run into their ex. Been there, don’t recommend that. But if it seems like a run-in is unavoidable, we’ve got your back with a total guide for getting through that torture like a pro.
Here are our tips for staying calm, cool, and collected when running into an ex at a party:
DO mentally prepare yourself. For anything. We hate to admit it, but your ex could’ve totally glowed up since the break up. Or worse (jump scare)... they could be pulling up with their new partner. Uhh, no thanks. Our suggestion? Take the high road and compliment their date on something to show them you’ve moved on and are comfortable with their new life. And don’t be afraid to make it clear you’re thriving, too — there’s no shame in subtly flexing that new job or name-dropping your new partner (emphasis on subtle — we're going for "effortless ex" here, okay?).
DO remember why you broke up in the first place. Keep it on a note on your phone if you have to!! Feelings don’t just go away overnight and through rose-colored glasses (or, more likely, beer goggles) your ex might be looking pretty good. But don’t fall for it. You’re ready to move forward and that means protecting your peace!
DO take a moment to collect yourself if things start to feel intense. Breakups are hard — you’re allowed to be sad about them. You’re even allowed to wallow — it’s just probably best for everyone’s sake to avoid doing so in public. Step outside for a minute, take a breather, and collect your emotions before you get back to the party.
DO stay positive. If you need to, find a bathroom, lock the door, and say some affirmations in the mirror (i.e. ✨I don’t chase, I attract✨). Smile big. Power pose. Literally whatever you need to do to ~keep calm and carry on~. You know what they say: fake it till you make it. And also... fake it till you’re back in the comfort of your own home where you can have a mental breakdown in peace.
DO keep things brief. Though the two of you may have dated for months or even years, now is not the time to fill your ex in on every detail of your life. If you’re feeling up to it — and you’re on good terms — then say a quick hello. Heck, have a little small talk, even! But keep the convo short and sweet.
DON’T pretend like you didn’t see them. Unless your breakup was the result of reality TV dating show level drama, then completely ignoring your ex will likely just seem childish and immature. You don’t have to be BFFs, but you should at the very least acknowledge one another's presence — a friendly wave, a cordial nod… better to have it happen on your timeline so you can be prepared!
DON’T drown your sorrows in tequila (or any other liquor, for that matter). Sure, drinking your woes away may sound like a good idea at first, but if you overindulge in the alcohol department, you’ll likely be spending the rest of your night on the bathroom floor. Sounds like instant hangxiety to us. Instead, stay for a drink (read: ONE drink) and then make an early exit with your dignity and liver still intact.
DON’T hook up with them. We repeat, do not hook up with your ex (read that again in your best friend's voice — we both know they would be saying the same thing). Much like the tequila, it might seem like a good idea at the time, but come the next morning you’ll wake up with nothing but regret (and probably a hangover). Old habits die hard, and we hate to sound harsh but we just want to give you some real talk — it’s time to move forward! You’re on to better things.
Ok, we think you're totally ready. Take a deep breath, relax those shoulders, and go show 'em what they're missing.
